Hi everybody!
Today I would love to tell you all about the change of heart I had last week, when I was in a particular good mood due to the nice weather and songs I listened to.
In fact, I'd like to share this music with you because it will uplift the way you're feeling in no-time.
So you know how people make reservations on New Year's Eve, in a depressed and forlorn attempt of changing their life around? Because let's face it... The only reason people make those reservations each year is because they're disappointed by the fact that they didn't stick to them last year. Well, I am not that kind of person. I never make reservations out of disappointment, but rather out of positivity that it would make my life just that little bit better or more worthwhile. No; I make my reservations on sunny afternoons in May. ✿
I just want to say first that I am very content with the way my life is going. I've got good education, good health, nice clothes and quite honestly don't have much to nag about. (Except for the horrendous amounts of homework they throw at us in school, making it close to impossible for me to find the time to write on my blog). But because of this general content, life can get kind of boring! I wake up every morning, at 6:30 -way too early- AM, and the exact same things happen with each passing day. I get up, I go to school, I bike home, I try (mind how I say try) to relax, I eat supper, I do my homework and then back to bed again. And despite it being such a rut, I feel like -besides obvious school schedules- I've got no self-created routine at all! I feel like I'm just floating around, randomly doing things and making bad decisions. Just passing time, if you get where I'm going with this?
Until last week's Monday afternoon.
Because that Monday afternoon, I had an epiphany!
I was watching loads of videos on Youtube, like I usually enjoy doing in my free time, when I realized
that is what I want. I know it's all just snippets of someone's life and very probably also slightly acted, but still: I feel like the kind of lifestyle they portray is something I want, too. There's loads of videos where people show their night-routines, or their morning-routines; and I thought maybe, just maybe if I plan these fun, enjoyable moments for myself as well... As
my own routine... Life wouldn't be such a rut anymore.
I have always been one to be very keen on good - or at least reasonable - marks at school, and to hold to a certain reputation. (If that's the correct word to use here? It's not necessarily a social reputation, but more some kind of reputation
of myself which I created inside my head... Like an expectation to live up to, I suppose?) But with that I tend to forget the importance of making myself feel good, or at least at ease... The importance of doing something solely for myself. I suppose I rediscovered this on my feel-good hours last Monday afternoon.
So what do I mean by my Change of Lifestyle?
The way I'd like to live my life is based mainly on personal preferences, or so to say: To adjust my lifestyle to the things that make
me feel my best. To no longer be dominated by the fear of failure, or fear of embarrassment that has been brought to me by school and insecurities. From now on, no matter how tough the day or how big the pile of homework, I will never forget myself. I will take the time to pamper myself with all the things that I love doing, wearing, smelling, seeing, hearing or reading. I'm sick of having panic attacks, and I hope that this way of living will reduce the amount of them I have. I believe that it will help me "breathe" through situations that make me feel nervous or trapped.
How am I gonna try to achieve this?
- Please note, that these are not things I'm forcing myself to do. These are things I want to do, and feel like would help me, and I will never feel guilty for not doing them. -
First of all, I'm going to try to take more time for my body. Strange as it may sound, when my life gets messy, my skin gets sticky. Things like showering or moisturizing or using crèmes take up quite a lot of time when you're rushing to get yourself to school. On busy days, I spend as little time as possible on skin-treatment like the ones I just mentioned. From now on, I'm going to try my best to take at least half an hour each day. Preferably at night, I will use my time to wash my hair with proper attendance, instead of thoroughly putting some shampoo in my hair. I will take time to scrub or cream or wash my body with products that smell nice and make me smile.
And then when I get out of the shower I will luxuriously besmear my legs with body butter or any other body lotion to my liking.
Princess like, with a towel wrapped around my hair. And then I'll finish off the routine with my moisturizer from
Formula 10.0.6, making my skin super soft; as it tends to get really dry after I've taken a shower. (Is that weird? It sounds weird, doesn't it? :p)
Right before I snuggle into bed, and cover myself under both my duvet and coverlet, I will put some hand-cream on and soften my lips with lip balm. Then I will put in my earplugs and listen to
this playlist while reading a book or until I'm sleepy.
Then, as I decide to close my eyes and try to sleep, I will first get my
Sleepbot app ready. Everyone should try that app, it's amazing! It tracks you while you sleep, as in sound and movement, and wakes you up with a friendly tone within a span of time of your choice. It tries to find your lightest sleep, so that it won't have to tear you from your deepest. I decided to download this when I was fed up with the horrid beeping of my old alarm clock, and it really helps me getting out of bed in the morning. It also gives you tips on how to sleep better, or how to stay awake during the day, as well as it shows you how much sleep you're lacking. It's truly helpful and fun a the same time. (It helped me figure out that I talk in my sleep :/ Some nights ago I kept saying "dertig" which is Dutch for thirty.. I don't know what it means, but I've decided that I'm some kind of math genius and that I've found the answer to time travel :p)
I will try to drink more tea than I drink soda. I need to say that I love tea, so that shouldn't be a problem in any way.
I will try to eat more fruit. Fruit was always something that needed to be force-fed to me, and from now on I will take more initiative in taking it out of the fridge myself ;) Honestly, what's not to love about a little Tupperware box full of strawberries at school? Or lying back in the garden and eating grapes from the branches as if you're a Greek God? I realize that if I simply start enjoying these activities, it'll be easier to keep up as well.
I will read more books. You have seen the list of books I want to read, I gather? It's getting out of hand. There's so many that I want to read, and so many that I am not reading. Once reading for school -
Lord of The Flies (which is actually a lovely book) and
Tschick (which is German and I don't like) - is over, I wish to start in the book my dear friend Dominique gave me for my birthday. ♥ She gave me
The Rosie Project, by Graeme Simsion, which is said to be extremely funny and awkwardly romantic. I can't wait to get lost in the pages while chilling in the sun. (Can the summer holidays be here already???)
I'm going to write more!!
Seriously, yesterday I couldn't go to school because I had some sort of mental breakdown/panic attack that affected my entire day, and I spent the rest of my day working on my book. Not only did I finish writing several chapters, and I'm very fond of those, I also wrote a long letter to my dear friend Othilie in Norway and worked on this monster of a blog post. ;)
Somehow I'm really excited about changing bits of myself. I feel more confident about this than ever before.
I hope you liked reading about this, about me and my changes; maybe you even got inspired yourself?
Lots of love,
Eva
