For several weeks now, this has been my personal WhatsApp status; accompanied by a cheeky bicep emoji to symbolise (my) strength. It made me feel good about myself for a pretty long while. This is because in my life, despite it only having lasted 18 years thus far, I've dealt with plenty of life's knocks and survived to tell the tale. The quote made me feel proud of myself, and much more confident about dealing with life's knocks in the future.
Now, however, I've been knocked down again, and despite the logical thought that I will continue to live and that I will be able to deal with it eventually, I just want to scream at the world to quit knocking me down.
Everyone always says that it takes these knocks to create character, that storms make trees take deeper roots; that the same storms are better at making a good sailor than a clear sea would ever be. But if these storms keep raging, keep coming back even after periods of sunshine, it will wear out the tree as much as the sailor. After too many punches, the boxer, no matter how strong, collapses.
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| Illustration by Cassandra: http://c-cassandra.tumblr.com/ |
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm tired and having more and more difficulty taking these knocks that life throws at me. Branches bend, until they break, and to a worn out tree even a tiny gust of air can feel like a hurricane. And with a worn out sail, the ship will lie still.
So now I've changed my status, and I'm not saying that I won't ever start loving that quote again, but for now I'm in a period of surrender. For now I need life to sit in time-out for a while. A white flag is waving. I'm taking some time off.
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| Illustration by Julianna Swaney: http://ohmycavalier.tumblr.com/ |
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Eva
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